Oh Mother, Where art thou

Dear Very Young and Ignorant Me

I write to you not from the grave, but from your desk in your room, at Jameson House in Rhodes University. Yes, we did it! Our life’s work (so far) has paid off; we were accepted into the prestigious university of Grahamstown: Rhodes University. I’m pretty sure you are jumping up and down, losing your mind with excitement, but I have not written this letter simply to inform you of your acceptance to Rhodes, but to also bring a few words of warning. I realise that your excitement is as much due to the idea of independence, as being able to finally decide what you wish to study and work towards achieving, but through the duration of your reading this letter I require you to contain yourself and read this with a steady heart-beat and level head intact.

Independence; just reading the word brings forth images of utter joy and freedom, doesn’t it? But this is the moment when I must halt any further imaginings of this kind. From this moment on the word independence connotes responsibility, reliance mainly on yourself and no one else, no mother to push you along when your spirit begins to sway and the dreaded inter-visiting hours. You are not at fault for experiencing any emotions of excitement, but what you must also realise is that not everything about this major change in your life will be positive.

Right now you may feel imprisoned within your home, but what you don’t realise is that this imprisonment has led to you being extremely attached to your family. The drive to Grahamstown will be filled with thrilling anticipation, but the moment that your mother is about leave you and return home, you will grab hold of her and will need to be dragged away from her kicking and screaming like a two year old (This is an obvious metaphor because we would never conduct ourselves in such a manner). But on the real, you will miss your mother so much that it will hurt. You will feel so completely alone and depressed and your home-sicknesses will become the worst kind of unwanted distraction. What you will need to do is find some kind of way to ease the hurt. Find something or someone who will fill the devastating whole within your soul.


Well all I’ve got say now is good luck. And you’re probably wondering what inter-visiting hours are, well, I have to allow you to discover some things by yourself.

All the best from your older (and wiser) self,
Zanele